“I Need Your Help!”

I can proudly say that I have never donated a single penny to a politician.

That’s not to say that they haven’t tried.

I’ve received texts, spam calls, e-mails and singing telegrams asking me to kick in.

“I still need your help!” One of the candidates just texted. “We need to make sure that we bring it across the finish line. Evan a single dollar can put us over the top!”

Not from me.

Money as it stands now needs to get out of politics. Millions upon millions are being spent.

And meanwhile, we have politicians crossing the country doing rallies.

Today, the sitting president (our national embarrassment) was talking about Arnold Palmer being ‘all man’.

He completed that train of thought by explaining that Palmer had a huge weiner.

That’s crucial for undecided voters, right?

We are watching a complete mental breakdown as every speech these last ten days have included a section about ‘beautiful, muscular men.’

Who would’ve guessed that one?

He’s a couple of rallies away from fully coming out of the closet.

It’s a tragic waste of money that could be used for healthcare for the masses.

And yet, there are people, without a pot to piss in, (as my parents used to say), who send money to a freaking billionaire!

Or by the trinkets that are being sold on his website.

Can you imagine buying his worthless coins? 

And of course, this close to the election, there are heated arguments going on all the social media sites.

Russian bots are out in full force, talking about transgender people taking over the entire nation.

There does not seem to be a message other than:

“Gas prices are going to come down rapidly if you vote for our party.”

I’ve tried hard to anticipate what might happen.

It’s not going to be a typical election. I don’t see them conceding and simply sitting the new congress should the house and senate change hands.

There might be political violence.

There will certainly be epic whining.

We will most likely hear the word ‘rigged’ about a million times.

One thing that won’t happen…

…I’m not donating a dime.