Except Your Father

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In a long-time family situation there are a lot of 'what-ifs' considered.

My beautiful wife was playing around one day (at least I think she was) as she asked the kids:

"Who would you rather live with, me or your father?"

Much to her surprise, (I believe she was putting the question to them just so she could prove that she was more popular with them than I am), the kids chose me.

All of 'em.

"He's easier," Sam said.

I guess I give into the little dorks more than Kathy does.

"He's a much better cook," Jake added.

"He's got more money," Matt said.

I must answer each of those character traits assigned to me:

1). I am easy...I do give in. I might yell a little, but I don't want them sad. I give them everything and Kathy is stuck being the bad guy.

2). I am a waaaaaaaaaaay better cook. Mostly because I consider it more. Dinner sneaks up on everyone else in the house. They think about it 5 minutes before they want to eat. That doesn't work.

3). She has waaaaaaaaaaay more money than I do because of #1 - I'm easy. My beautiful wife plays me way worse than any of the kids do.

But that was a surprise.

They'd rather live with me.

Then the direction of the conversation shifted away from such a subject. However, Sam made some sort of remark that made Kathy say:

"Of course I would die for you. I would die for anyone in this family."

I had just walked in on the conversation and when my beautiful wife caught a glimpse of me this is what she said:

"Except for your father. I wouldn't give up my life to save his."

Isn't that lovely, people?

"He's lived a long time," Kathy said by way of explanation.

Sam was laughing, of course.

"Isn't that heart-warming?" I asked.

"Come on! You'd give up your life for me?" she asked.

"Not now!" I answered. "Not now that I know the score."

So, there you have it...just some normal, every day banter.

I get no respect, I tell ya'.

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