Tickets to Heaven

-

A Florida couple was arrested for selling tickets to heaven. 

When I read the headline, I thought, ‘In this society, that’s not a bad idea!’

And it wasn’t. 

Despite the fact that they claimed the tickets were solid gold and that they just had to be presented at the pearly gates, the $99 price tag wasn’t bad.

They sold $10 grand worth!

After the arrest, the male was talking. He mentioned that he got the solid gold tickets directly from Jesus - behind a KFC - and that Jesus mentioned that if he sold all the tickets he and his wife would receive an all expense paid trip to another planet that was made entirely of drugs.

Sounds reasonable.

The man claimed that Jesus was the one who needed to be arrested and that he was willing to wear a wire to capture the son of god.

Now, it’s easy to discount the story as the rantings of a mad couple…

…but they sold a thousand tickets!

To heaven.

For the low, low price of $100.

Worth the gamble, I guess.

Why does Jesus only speak to the crazy people?

What a time to be alive.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There’s Still Greatness

-
Image
The other night I got home from work and Kathy and Sam were engaged in a game of backgammon. Sam had never played and wanted to learn. He got some late doubles and won his debut game. (I helped a little). And I thought of my buddy, Gag. We were roommates at Gannon back in 1983. We played at least 25 games of backgammon a night. By the end of the year he wound up beating me by just a couple of games out of a few thousand. That’s 60-year-old Gag in the photo - running the Disney marathon with his son, MJ - they do it every year. To raise money for Duchenne MD research. “He’s running again?” Kathy asked me as we talked about the donation.  “Of course.” “Italian men, man,” Kathy said. “You’re a stubborn, loyal lot.” “I ain’t running no marathons,” I said. “Gag is a maniac.” I enjoy following the posts as the run progresses - on Saturday morning I was fighting a cold or some such crap… …and they were running in the rain in Florida. There is a lot of negative energy in the news we see br...
Read more

Heart Heavy

-
A couple of things happened over the weekend. First off, I couldn't take sitting around not being a part of the world. I decided to forego a portion of my rest my sore tendon. I got up off the couch and headed to work. I just couldn't take what I was seeing on the news and feeling in my heavy heart. Just too much. I headed for the convenience store and my daily chat with a real nice lady who collects my money for the papers. I pointed to the headline about the president's speech on Sunday night. She started crying. I thought of my wife crying as Obama read off the names of the children. I thought of the Bruce song: This is a prayer for the souls of the departed, those who've gone and left their parents broken-hearted. Their lives over before they got started. This is a prayer for the souls of the departed. My boy was still waiting in the driveway for his bus to come. I wanted to grab him and hug him, but he's 15. He might have kneed me in a bad spot...
Read more

A Grand Time

-
Image
“Are You An Idiot?” was sort of a pop song in a career filled with more ambitious books, but it did something that none of the others did. It won the whole damn thing. We walked into the festival in the famous Academy room at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood (they film the Jimmy Kimmel Show next door) and Bruce Haring the event organizer greeted me with the news that I would speak last because “Are You An Idiot?” was the Grand Festival Award Winner. There were 9 festivals across the country that all had winners, including the Hollywood Beach Festival which “Are You An Idiot?” won. It was also chosen as the winner of all 9 festivals. Grand. I made a quick speech - it’s on my Author’s Facebook Page and then we called it a night. We have the Hollywood tour package in the morning and we are kicking around going to the Hollywood Bowl for ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ or the Santa Monica Pier. An awards show is a long night, and we heard from about 40 winners. A couple of the authors cried as the...
Read more