The Handyman

We have 3 vacuums here.

None of them are functional.

We have 3 lawn mowers here.

Only one starts and that’s because it’s brand new - I got tired of trying to start the other two.

As for the vacuums. One never worked. The other went south about six months ago. The last one stopped sucking a couple of weeks ago.

“It just needs a belt,” I was told. “I’ll take it in soon.”

I’ve been married a long time. I know that ‘soon’ can be tomorrow or six months from now.

My mind only works when there is no clutter and when all the things on my to-do-list are done.

Vacuuming the downstairs where the dog and cat come in was high on my list.

I wasn’t waiting on the belt….

…I headed to Target…walked straight to the vacuum aisle and picked up a box that held my new vacuum.

I put the box into my truck and that’s when it hit me:

“Someone has to put it together.”

I was a little nervous, but truth be told, it couldn’t have been any easier.

I clicked a couple of pieces into place, and quickly vacuumed.

A few minutes after I finished, Kathy asked:

“Where’d the vacuum come from?”

“Bought it.”

“Who put it together? You?”

“Of course,” I said, as though I were a true handyman.

“You’re such a big boy, now,” she said, laughing.

“You laugh,” I said, “But it was highly complex. I utilized engineering skills, and followed a series of truly challenging steps to accomplish the task.”

“Good Lord,” she said.

“Yeah, you laugh,” I said. “The floor is clean.”

“Good boy!”