World Class

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Of course, anyone who's known me understands that I've always been a world class athlete. I've been dominant in golf, basketball, softball, tennis...hell...in my mind I have dominated every single event I've ever participated in.


Yeah.

In my mind.

That's me after most of the people left the tournament on Sunday.

Yet...you must know...I dominated all weekend.

I played golf on Saturday morning and I whipped a Baltimoron who was up for the visit.

(Never mind that another Baltimore native beat me...I thumped the one guy I had to beat - 91 to 90).

He stinks.

Then there was the softball tourney.

The Fuzzy boys went 3 for 3 to open up the game.

In fact, we were 6 for our first 6.

Never mind the fact that I never once touched first base because I wasn't running...I hit the ball okay.

(Let's say I didn't embarrass myself).

In my mind - I dominated.

But that was the end result.

When I put my feet into the two bags of ice I nearly wept with joy.

Nothing ever felt better than that.

Nothing.

And the bottom line came in the middle of the 3rd game that the Lions were playing on Sunday. I was coaching, of course, and the dip-shit team of mine was kicking the ball all over the infield.

I started yelling at them.

"Give us a break," Jeff Renaldo yelled back. "We're half a friggin' century old!"

So...my friends are no longer world class athletes.

Good thing that I am.

Comments

Unknown said…
Unnamed Baltimoron graciously accepts being held nameless due to the excellent company and comedic relief of super-athlete Clifford.

PS - The Battered Bastards of Baseball. Great Watch.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3445270/
12 August, 2014
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