"In Da' Pooper"

-
Let me set the scene for such a colorfully titled blog.

We went to an annual party for my beautiful wife's side of the family. Jack & Diane (I'm not kidding) throw the party each and every year at their beautiful home.

The food is great. There are plenty of things for everyone to do for amusement, and the company is usually great - except my brother-in-law Michael wore a Boston Sux Sux shirt to annoy me and then he annoyed me further with his Palin-based political agenda.

Anywhoha...

There is a beautiful putting green on the property and I ambled over and grabbed a putter. Sam, who is tethered to my leg, also grabbed one. As did Michael and another-right-wing-nut, my nephew, Matt. The final putter went into my nephew Johnny's hands.

And as usual, when men get together, it was quickly turned into a competition with my nephew Jake keeping it all in line we set off on a little tourney.

There was only a single hole-in-one the entire time through.

Johnny got it and he started to taunt me a little bit.

I had flashbacks to his Dad.

Same tone, same smile, same aggravating gestures.

"Who has a hole-in-one?" he asked me every single time I looked at him.

Yet it was getting down to the nail-biting time.

Sam and Johnny were well behind as we headed toward the final shots to grab the 15 points.

It was me against the two right-wing nuts for the title.

Jake flipped the quarter and lined us up to the final hole.

We would be going from the green to the rough and back to the green again.

I eyed it up and got ready.

The score was tied.

Everyone was chirping.

I wanted to win.

And just as I started to bring the club back I felt something weird going on.

Johnny had stuck his putter into my backside.

I held up on the swing and turned to face him.

It was the same smile.

Those same dark eyes.

The same voice called out to me and he said the exact same words.

"In Da' Pooper."

I lost the competition.

Stupid, cheating Matt Snell made a garbage shot from off the rough to sink it in two.

All I needed from Johnny were the most famous of all words Jeff used to speak on the golf course when a putt hung on the lip:

"Ahhhhhhh, that's a shame."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more

Eyes on the Horizon

-
Image
My sister’s book is out there! Go get it!! It makes me so proud to see the book on Amazon, knowing that it’s very, very great! It’s been a long, long time since we were out in California, brainstorming my stories long before they were published. Carrie Lynn was writing, writing and writing some more through the years and I kept telling her… …”Go for it!” Well, she did!  To amazing results. Of course I was able to read the book as it was being put together, but I ordered a copy from Amazon yesterday and can’t wait to read it again. The shoe is on the other foot now as I have been sitting on a lot of my writing lately. I plan on getting it out there before the end of 2024, but for now: Carrie takes center stage! And it’s so great… …go get a copy!
Read more