Thoughts of a Common Man

My hysterical children have worked up a bit of a comedy act. Yesterday at a wonderful party thrown by Pops (stuffed peppers were okay...that's why I only ate nine), my boys waited until there were a group of people around who had no idea who we are. "My mother told me that I was an accident and she really, really wanted an abortion," Jake said. I watched the jaw of a woman hit the floor. "You know what day I hate most of all?" Sam asked. "Dog food Wednesday. If I eat another can of Alpo I'm gonna puke." Yesterday was the first time I listened in on their polished routine. I guess my wife had heard it before. The women leaning close to our table had never heard it. "I hate when he lines us up in the driveway and throws basketballs at us," Jake said. "I'd eat six cans of dog food if I didn't have to take a ball off the face again." "Yep, yep." Sam said. "That is bad, but not as bad as when they tied us to th...

That's a Gordon Lightfoot lyric from Carefree Highway ...great song. I thought of it the other night because I passed Matt in the hallway after I finished working. Kathy had taken Jake and Sam to baseball and since I was late, I missed the game. Matt hadn't been around for dinner, so I was surprised to see him there. "What're you doing?" I asked. He whispered his answer. "I'm going to watch a movie." "Why the hell are you whispering?" I asked. Then it hit me. He missed dinner because he'd taken a girl out. Evidently, she was now in my house, preparing to watch a movie. The girl was as nervous as Matt as I walked by where she was seated. "Hi," I said. She smiled back. About ten different girls entered my mind. Girls that I knew in college, or high school, or hell even grammar school. Girls who were now middle-aged women with kids of their own. Some who'd been through failed marriages, loser boyfriends, the entire shebang. W...

I really need to stop reading the paper. My heart was aching this morning after reading about a 35-year-old man who was killed in a car crash. The last line of the recap talked about the police officer who had to notify the young wife...now a widowed mother of two. And since I had to travel to Rochester, for the 2nd day in a row (A 180-mile round trip) I had a lot of time to think about things. And I was tired. Long week. They seem longer than 5 days these years. Got things done and decided to put on the I-pod to pick up my mood. It was raining hard when I thought about that poor wife and her kids. But I drove towards home. When I stopped to get a coffee. I called home. Sam and Kathy were both on the line and I betrayed what I was feeling by trying to be upbeat about the coming weekend. Steak for dinner. Yankees at 7. Golf on Sunday morning. Party with Pops tomorrow. Planning life. I got back on the Thruway and the rain slowed. The music kept coming though. Stones doing Where the Boys ...

Hideki Irabu was a pitcher for the New York Yankees. They signed him to a big contract in the 1990's and he was supposed to be a great star as he had been in Japan. It didn't work out that way. Irabu was pretty awful as a Yankee. I wanted to like him, I really did. But he stunk. My brother used to yell at me about him as if I signed him to the deal. The Yankees ended up dumping him and he signed with Texas. They cut him after he showed up to pitch - drunk as a skunk. Irabu was found dead today. 42 years old. He died at his own hand. These sort of stories really drive me crazy. He was blessed with talent enough to throw a ball and sign a 12 million dollar deal for doing so. He left Japan and came over to the United States, and it all fell apart from there. When Irabu was with the Yanks he spoke only through an interpreter. The rest of the team talked about how hard it was to communicate with him. Yet he stayed. He was living in Los Angeles at the time of his death. He was still ...

MESA, Ariz. — Police in suburban Phoenix say they have arrested a man suspected of killing his girlfriend and living with her body for more than two months. Thirty-five-year-old Erik Grumpelt was charged Tuesday with one count of second-degree murder. After receiving a tip from Grumpelt's father, Mesa officers went to the suspect's apartment Monday and discovered the body of 39-year-old Melinda Raya on a bedroom floor under several sheets. Investigators say the body was in an advanced state of decomposition and surrounded by air fresheners. Authorities say on May 19, Grumpelt struck Raya several times in the abdomen after learning she had cheated on him. When she became unresponsive, police say Grumpelt panicked and tried to hide her body. My favorite part of the story, of course, is that they discovered her body with air freshners all around her. Are you freaking kidding me? And how do you live like that for two months? Wouldn't you consider moving? Wouldn't you consid...

If I had to put a finger on my main source of mental illness it would have to be that when I feel cluttered, I'm cooked. How many emails are in your inbox as saved, sent, or archived? I was talking to a guy today who said that he had 1,400 saved emails. I would honestly slit my throat. I have zero saved, zero in the sent box, zero in the box waiting to be opened. If I get one, I address it and delete it. If there are emails in the box when I wake up in the morning I address them and delete them as well...even before I hit the head. If the kids leave their shoes in one of the rooms where I decided that shoes shouldn't be stored, I put them in the room where they should go. But I hide one of them. I can't stand when we take a car trip because they leave things behind in the cup holders. I will very often be driving down the road when it hits me that the storage area where I keep job information, in the back of the truck, is disorganized. I have pulled over at a rest stop to c...

Twenty-seven years old and Amy Winehouse is dead. Now, every person that ever met her is appearing on radio and television to talk about how talented she was and how they wish she would have beat down her addictive and self-destructive behavior. Isn't that always the way? Everyone saw it coming, but there was no way to stop it. I'm not being critical here because there really isn't any way that you can slow down that train. She was a wreck. It came. Destructive, addictive behavior is something that we all face, right? I must admit that I've toiled in all sorts of self-destruction. I have a hammer in one hand to build things with and a torch in the other to burn down the things I've built. We all do. Whether it's drugs and booze or gambling, or sex-addictions...whatever, it's all over the news. There isn't a person in the world who doesn't feel as if they are on top of it either. I marvelled at the drug parts of the Keith Richards book. He hated heroi...