Cops

We had a half-hour to kill before the show we wanted to watch came on.

“There’s Cops,” Kathy said.

Enough said. 

I put it on, knowing full well why I liked watching it…

…because it’s an absolute nightmare!

The first guy was a felon who was caught trying to break into a condemned home. He had a large knife.

“I knocked on the door because my Dad used to live here, but he didn’t answer. As I was walking away I saw this knife, and I figured I would take it down to the police station and turn it in so a kid didn’t find it and hurt themselves.”

I spit my drink.

“Not sure they’re buying it,” Kathy said.

The guy tried three or four variations of the story and then couldn’t believe it when they cuffed him.

The next one was even better.

“We have a domestic fight that turned physical.”

I was thinking a husband and wife got into it and it turned into a mess.

When they arrived on scene there was an obese, shirtless, bearded, tattooed man seated on a red couch in the center of his front lawn.

“Who is the victim?” The cop asked.

The big guy raised his hand.

“She hit me, broke my glasses.”

There was a small woman standing there.

“She did?”

“NO! I DID!” Another woman yelled, and I wasn’t ready for the sight of her. She was about 6’2” and went at least four spins.”and I’ll hit him again!”

Turns out they were bickering over money. She was the mother in law who paid her portion of the rent. He took the cash, went to the bar, drank half of it, and now didn’t have the full amount to pay the rent.

“That’s not ideal,” the cop said, “But you can’t hit him.”

She wasn’t having it.

She emphasized that she wanted to hit him again. They went back to the son in law.

“Do you want to press charges?”

He did.

Then it really got ugly.

“There are a lot of really sad people in this country,” Kathy said.

And that’s why we watch Cops.