Heaven Or Not

We had a game show on yesterday, of all things. The television was just on and whatever channel was on went to the show.

I heard a commercial come on. An old white guy:

“Are you going to heaven or not? Find out!”

I laughed.

Obviously they are making some money off such a question somehow.

“Go check it out,” I said to Kathy.

“No!”

“You just know there are old people checking out, and paying money for this dude to tell him if they made the grade.”

And of course, it’s all a scam, and it’s a garbage one too because it preys on the fears of people who are worried about their faith.

“You going to heaven or not?” Kathy asked.

“Depends on how hard they grade us,” I said. 

And the commercial shows the view of above the clouds as though you’re in an airplane.

The announcer sounds as if it is a dire question that you cannot afford to ask their experts.

“I really want to check it out,” I said. “I want to see how they arrive at the answer..”

Do they ask you how many of the Ten Commandments you broke?

Check your mass attendance?

“Have you been convicted of a crime?”

I also wonder how much money the site generates and how hard the people who run it are laughing at the rubes.

Why not, right?

Those preachers have been telling us that God needs money for decades…

…and people have sent it hand over fist.

Not sure if I’m going to heaven or not…

…but they aren’t.