Thoughts of a Common Man

You know when you get loaded onto a plane, like cattle, and you are forced to share very limited space with complete strangers, it sort of occurs to you that other people suck, and that no matter if you consider yourself a people-person, you're going to cringe with the thought of actually speaking with them. I had an I-pod and two books. Listened to the I-pod and read both of the books before my trip was through. In between, I heard a crying baby. Now, don't get me wrong, I know how difficult it is to keep a baby from crying, but when they do that ear-piercing scream in the middle of a moving airplane, it's aggravating. "Give that kid a chicken bone," as my Dad used to say. Then the woman and her husband next to me got to cooing about their love for one another. She kissed his hand at one point, and then he took to rubbing her back as she groaned in delight. "Care to make it a threesome?" the guy behind me said, and we all laughed. I thought it would put...

Harry Chapin once wrote a song that is the title of this blog. I kept thinking of it this week as I was away in Las Vegas. What started as a work trip, and slowly evolved into a pleasure trip if my wife could go, turned back into a work trip when she couldn't. So, what you had was a guy in Buffalo, thinking about being in Vegas before leaving, and a guy in Vegas, wishing he could be back in Buffalo while he was there. And therein lies the problem that Chapin wrote about. Someone who goes through life wishing he were somewhere else is one messed-up, lonely dude when it comes right down to it. Not to say that the trip was a hardship. I had a little fun. I threw ten bucks down on #23 at the roulette wheel, looked up and said, 'Help a brother out.' The first number was 26. So I tossed another ten down. Mind you, I was only playing with a twenty. "Twenty-three, red," the woman said. "Pays 35 to 1." I laughed. It was pretty much the highlight of the gambling t...

So Charlie Sheen is headed to rehab. Again. It's fairly sad because what will bug me most about it is that his show will go into repeats for awhile. And isn't that pathetic? The whole world is watching this guy die a slow death and the media is huddled around wondering if he can do his little half-hour comedy sketch every week. I'm about the same age as Charlie. We are separated by about 11 tax brackets, but we do share a few weaknesses. Like drink and a love for women. He does the drugs and the porn, which are mildly interesting items, but not something I'd get hooked on. My love of women, of course, is isolated to one, but why quibble? Still, he's 45 years old. Isn't it time to grow up? Money or not. I've been fairly tired lately. Too much work, too much travel. Too much sadness, too many days when I'd like to bag it and drink the goose. I have decided, although my life doesn't depend on it like Charlie's, to fill the empty spaces with somethin...

The big story around Buffalo is about the man who beheaded his wife a couple of years ago. As the story goes, he felt as if he had no choice because she was rough on him. Seems like a mighty weak defense to me, you know? The are a lot of ways that you might, as a man, be able to handle an abusive situation. Perhaps it is different for a woman, fearing for her physical safety, but you mean to tell me that this guy was so afraid of being yelled at by his wife that he could only respond by cutting off her melon? My wife doesn't abuse me, by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm quite sure that she doesn't feel threatened, at all by me. First and foremost, she might be able to kick my ass. Secondly, we respect one another. The kids laugh whenever we ask them who is in charge at our house. It's her, and I accept that, but I certainly don't feel beat down. Now that's not to say that there haven't been quiet moments as we contemplate my lousy behavior, but for th...

I have been granted 730 days to live without talking with my brother. Let me tell you, it blows. 2 years ago today I got the call to tell me Jeff had collapsed at work. It is hard to pinpoint moments in your life that will forever change your life, but that wasn't one of them. So, how has life changed in 730 days? Sadly, some days it hasn't. I am still right there. Still out of control. Still trying to keep my head above water. Every single day. Every lousy moment. Knowing that there needs to be a moment of acceptance. Never wanting to accept it. I am battling though. Knowing that there has been some progress made in 730 short days...knowing I need a million more for acceptance. I do need to know that my beautiful wife and my wonderful children have kept me afloat over the last two years. Without them, there would be so much more pain. So where do we go from here? Onto day #731, right? Thats life. That is how we sustain. An hour at a time. A day at a time. Celebrate the day yo...

It sort of smacks as a public relations deal, doesn't it? Oprah announced yesterday that she has a sister that no one knows about. A couple of interesting aspects, huh? First off, I heard an interview with Oprah's husband, Gayle King, who said that she didn't think that Oprah should make a spectacle of it by announcing it on the show. Like Oprah could do anything without holding a press conference. What good is it to have a sister if you can't get ratings out of it? Secondly, who'd a thunk that when Oprah announced that she had a sister that it would turn out that Oprah would be the skinny, cute one? The best part of it all though is that it also caught Oprah's dad by complete surprise. So, let me get this straight: Oprah is the moral compass on everything. She tells us what to read, what to eat, how to love, how to talk, and how to pray...and she comes from a place where men father children and don't even know about it? Still, you talk about hitting the lot...

A friend of mine, Jeff Schober, along with police officer Dennis Delano wrote a book about the capture of the Bike Path Rapist that terrorized Buffalo for twenty plus years. The man, Al Sanchez, was caught a few years back. First off, the book is great. Jeff did a wonderful job of telling the story with style and grace. That certainly couldn't have been easy because his subject was a pure monster who didn't care even a little about human life. Shameless plug for Jeff...the book is entitled Bike Path Rapist...google it and order it! Secondly, the pull of the story for me was that Sanchez had a wife, a couple of kids, and worked among us in the community, all the while keeping the filthiest of secrets. My mind was caught up in the how and whys of it all. There were no answers in the book, possibly because there are no answers. One of the most compelling aspects of the story comes when the author puts Sanchez' words out there for interpretation. Sanchez' father wasn't ...