Couldn’t Bad Mouth A Pedophile

I’m friends with a couple of guys who are dyed in the wool Republicans, and we have had some spirited discussions.

I don’t get where they’re coming from, of course, and I was a little apprehensive about bringing up politics, but they decided to tell me that Iran had to be dealt with.

“That’s not what you said before the election,” I said. “You were telling me that it was all about taking care of Americans, and that you didn’t want any new wars.”

“We had to,” one of them said, but he was looking at his feet.

“Okay,” I said. “You started it. What about the Epstein files?”

“What about them. Bill Clinton is in them, right?”

“Who knows?” I said. “Your guy is hiding them.”

“You know Clinton is in them,” he said.

“If he is, put him in jail,” I said. “What about your fat friend?”

“He’s not in them,” he said.

I laughed.

“Clinton definitely is, in your mind, but no way Shitler is?”

“I need to see proof,” he said.

“He’s hiding the files!”

“Then I guess we’ll never know,” he said. “Besides, no matter what, we couldn’t have elected Kamala.”

That’s when it hit me.

I needed to hear him say it.

“Okay, a hypothetical for you,” I said. “We get verified, undisputed proof that the orange pig raped children. Should he be removed?”

“Not if Kamala is the choice,” he said. “I’d rather have a pedophile than her.”

“Wow. Good Lord,” I said. “God help us all. You guys have children. You’d rather…

I walked away.

“We love you!” They yelled to my back, and I laughed.

I have to tell myself that they were joking about it, but, you know what?

I don’t think they were.

Good Lord.