I'm Just Sitting There!

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Here's a thought to all the people I don't know:

Stop running into me at red lights!

I was waiting for Dan Patrick to enlighten me with his Super Bowl pick. I had just glanced up to see if the damn light was still red...I had been waiting for a while...and bam!

I eased the car to the side of the road, put my hazard lights on, and got out. A woman was making her way towards me. We each asked a question.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

"What the %$C* are you doing?" I asked.

Then I saw that she was shaking a little.

"I'm fine," I said.

We both looked at our cars.

Hers was hammered.

Mine showed a few marks on the bumper.

I calmed down extremely quickly and she explained that she was sliding on the icy road.

"I'm so sick of driving in this weather," she said.

Well I'm kinda' tired of getting smashed while sitting in a vehicle I'm not even moving, I thought.

We exchanged info and we talked a moment about our lives. Her car was new to her. She had just had it detailed. Now her husband was gonna' yell.

We both agreed that we hated snow.

The cop showed up and checked in on our happy little scene.

He seemed surprised to see that we were both chatting amicably.

Before the hour was out the woman's insurance agent had contacted me. He told me that the woman was adamant about making sure all was well.

I knew the routine.

Sore back.

Sore neck.

When I returned home my children were full of sympathy.

"Drive much?" Sam asked.

"I wasn't moving!" I said.

"It had to be your fault," Jake chimed in.

And it went on like that for a little while.

But, folks, I'm serious!

Stop freaking hitting me!!

4 times in a row!

That's the 4th accident in the last 5 years that I've been in where my car wasn't moving!!

"You have a 'Kick-me' sign," my extremely witty brother-in-law texted.

It appears that way.

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