Posts

Showing posts from April, 2014

Jills Over Bills

Image
Do you know that the NFL doesn't pay taxes? Well, they don't pay their cheerleaders either. The Buffalo Jills made headlines over the weekend and they are not the first group of NFL cheerleaders to cry foul, but since they are literally in my backyard, I listened. First off...as stated here before...this is a multi-billion-dollar industry. Very multi! The Jills allegedly were paid $150 per game. They were hardly ever paid for their personal experiences. They were subjected to jiggle tests and dehumanized... ...this is according to a disgruntled member, of course, but where there's smoke. Let's start at point one. Women are awesome. I have always felt that way. They don't deserve any of the scorn that is sometimes thrown their way. Do you realize that there are still people out there who believe that women don't deserve equality when it comes to social stature, pay and other things? There are a ton of men that feel that way, honestly. Yet t

Catching Up

So...deep breath...what's been happening out there? 1). The weather is still horrific here in the East. 36 degrees the other freaking morning. Frost on the windows. The dogs thought I was yelling at them after I had used my Tops card to scrape the ice...it freaking broke. "It isn't supposed to be frosting in freaking May!" I yelled. (Melky and Paris agreed). 2). What about Michael Pineda of the First-Place, 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized Sports? To backtrack...the Suck Sux...who have two pitchers who lather themselves in Vaseline and pine tar every single time they pitch...spotted pine tar on Pineda's palm a few starts ago. Less than a week later, Pineda had it all over his neck. The Suck Sux told on him, and Pineda was suspended. And I may sound like a real homer here, but the Suck Sux telling was the real shame of the story. The use of pine tar, for grip, is pretty well accepted throughout the league. Lest

No Need to Apologize!

We've all been watching Joan Rivers for a lot of years. Quick, what do you think of when her name pops into your head? The bad face-lifts? Her banter with her daughter? The fact that she sat in for Johnny all those years ago? For me, it's always been about the fact that she'd say anything at any time, she is usually funny, and she has an acid tongue. That's her job! She tells jokes. The jokes sometimes cross the line into bad taste. Yet, she's not a bad lady. She is a joke teller. Last week she was on the Today Show and she told a joke about her living quarters being smaller than those of the Cleveland hostage and rape victims. It probably wasn't the right place to deliver that line. The joke is certainly in bad taste, and it's not a joke worth pissing everyone off because it isn't that funny, but it's a joke nonetheless, right? Wrong. Evidently. The outcry has been harsh. The Today Show issued an apology. Rivers refuses to d

Sterling?

Donald Sterling, the owner of the Clippers basketball team has long been known as something of a idiot. He was sued by his former general manager, Elgin Baylor, who claimed that there was discrimination of the age and race variety. A whole bunch of women that he employed also claimed that he was particularly abusive, bullying them in sexual ways. His players always claimed that he was exceptionally cheap. The fans raged against him, and for years and years he has been long considered the worst owner in sports. But nothing has ever stuck to him. Because he's a billionaire. He's bought his way out of things. The rest of the owners have put up with him. The NBA has kow-towed to him. The players just don't have that sort of power. He behaved badly. Oh well. Deal with it. He's the Donald of the West. Money controls a whole lot of situations. But I think the 76-year-old alleged racist, alleged sexist, alleged bullying pig has finally stepped into a big enough

Get Lucky

Absolutely love this song by Mark Knopfler and I always think of the same guy when it comes across the I-pod. When I was just getting out of college I worked with a guy in California. He spoke to me about not judging what another man does. He would jump from job to job and town to town....just like the guy in the song...and he was a pretty happy dude. Makes you wonder, when your eyes go blind and your blood runs cold, about how much easier it would be to live a real simple life. So, wherever you are, Zane Conway...hope you're getting lucky...now and then. Zane also told me something I'd never forget and I remember it word for word. He said: "All these guys in suits and ties are making judgments, but let me tell you, some of the most intelligent people in this world sweep floors for a living." Get Lucky I'm better with my muscles Than I am with my mouth I worked the fairgrounds in the summer And go pick fruit down south And when I'm feel them c

Bruuuuuuuuccccceeeeee! 33rd Edition

Image
The driving around the City of Pittsburgh is brutal! We were following the voice of the GPS lady and she was taking us down side streets, up hills, down into valleys and through construction work where the guide rails were inches away from both sides of the truck. "I feel like I'm in a video game," I said at one point. But we made it. We swiped my credit card and headed for the escalator, figuring we'd have to go up a level. "You're in the premium section," the usher told us. "How the hell did you do that?" I asked my beautiful wife. "I don't know. I just ordered them off the computer." And we headed to our seats. Our vantage point is shown above. We settled in and the woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder. "How many have you been to?" She asked. "This is number 33," I said. I was a little embarrassed as it makes me sound like a nutcase, but it's been over 30 years! "I lost c

America's Past Time

Image
The first step through the tunnel to catch a glimpse of the field is awesome. PNC Park in Pittsburgh is a true gem. It's just a beautiful park that was perfectly designed. We were fortunate to be in great seats. I'm talking tremendous seats. We were in the second row just 15 feet from first base. My beautiful wife did a great job of planning the trip and grabbed the seats along with help from Sam. It's a great place to see a game. Joey Votto is one of the best players in the game and he was doing his thing less than 20 feet away. The game looks simpler from that vantage point. We could gauge the speed of the pitches, we saw how quickly the players move around the bases. There was a throw from the deep outfield to the plate that made us all just shake our heads. Yet the game was secondary to the memory that we made on Monday night. The boys brought one glove in order to grab a foul ball (none came close) but Sam also brought a clean hardball just in case there w

The Best

My brother Jim has taken charge as the host of the celebrations. He cooks enough for 50 people every time we get together even if there are only a dozen of us. Easter was no exception. The food was tremendous and there was enough for our gathering as well as the neighbors and their families had they stopped by. We ate, talked and watched the Yankees win...all great things. After dinner my brother John disappeared with two of my kids and his daughters. I heard a lot of cheering coming up from the basement level. A half an hour later John was standing in front of me. "Let's go, we're playing fooseball downstairs, and let me tell you, your kids are horrendous, but Sam never shuts up about what he's going to do." I laughed. Sounded about right. Even though Sam had never played the game before he was going to talk a great game. So I headed down and took Sam on my team as we played John and Jake. Everything was familiar about it. We were playing on the s

With the Help of Thy Grace

Headed to early Easter Mass which meant I was going alone. The dog's ride around the neighborhood put me a little behind and I walked into the Mass a little before eight. The place was jam packed. A sold-out show doesn't normally happen at the early Mass, but it was standing room only. And I'm still not great standing for a full hour, but I went for it. During the service I had a chance to look around at the gathering. A screaming baby over there. An elderly couple right in front of me. I could almost pick out the once a year attendees because they were more dressed up than us seasoned veterans. The priest was talking to them too, trying to get them back in the fold a bit. And I kept looking, and thinking. In that gathering there were people suffering with all sorts of problems. Sickness. Grieving death. Money problems. Fighting with their spouses. Everyone praying for one thing or another. Just before the start of communion I kicked into an Act of C

Hockey Time

Here in the Northeast we have a lot of people who really enjoy the sport of hockey. Especially during playoff times. Of course the Sabres were edged out of a playoff spot, just missing, by 41 points. It's gonna' be a long time until they see a playoff game down at the arena. But that hasn't stopped people from Buffalo from watching. There are ex-Sabres scattered all over the league so there's some rooting for them to do well. But not me. I won't see even a second of the NHL playoffs which stretch out over the next few months. And at the risk of pissing off Gag and Jeffy...here's why. 1). Hockey used to be a great sport of true artistry. Back in the late 80's and early 90's Gretzky and Lemieux were allowed to skate and create. The guy who led the league in scoring this year had 108 points. Gretzky had 92 goals one year and 219 points back then! The game was fluid and exciting. Now it is slow and prodding. 2). Why is it so slow now? Big pad

An Easter Story

Jeremy's Egg Jeremy was born with a twisted body, a slow mind and a chronic, terminal illness that had been slowly killing him all his young life. Still, his parents had tried to give him as normal a life as possible and had sent him to St. Theresa's Elementary School. At the age of 12, Jeremy was only in second grade, seemingly unable to learn. His teacher, Doris Miller, often became exasperated with him. He would squirm in his seat, drool and make grunting noises. At other times, he spoke clearly and distinctly, as if a spot of light had penetrated the darkness of his brain. Most of the time, however, Jeremy irritated his teacher. One day, she called his parents and asked them to come to St. Teresa's for a consultation. As the Forresters sat quietly in the empty classroom, Doris said to them, "Jeremy really belongs in a special school. It isn't fair to him to be with younger children who don't have learning problems. Why, there is a five-year gap bet

Except Your Father

In a long-time family situation there are a lot of 'what-ifs' considered. My beautiful wife was playing around one day (at least I think she was) as she asked the kids: "Who would you rather live with, me or your father?" Much to her surprise, (I believe she was putting the question to them just so she could prove that she was more popular with them than I am), the kids chose me. All of 'em. "He's easier," Sam said. I guess I give into the little dorks more than Kathy does. "He's a much better cook," Jake added. "He's got more money," Matt said. I must answer each of those character traits assigned to me: 1). I am easy...I do give in. I might yell a little, but I don't want them sad. I give them everything and Kathy is stuck being the bad guy. 2). I am a waaaaaaaaaaay better cook. Mostly because I consider it more. Dinner sneaks up on everyone else in the house. They think about it 5 minutes befor

Hamburg Sun - Dogs On Main Street Article

Image
Seek the Promised Land in new novel by a Blasdell resident Thursday April 17, 2014 | By:Alicia Greco, The Sun staff reporter | News DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN — Cliff Fazzolari has recently published his 11th novel, which was inspired by Bruce Springsteen and redemption. Photo submitted by Fazzolari. BLASDELL — Cliff Fazzolari’s 10th book, written about and dedicated to the life of his brother, was going to be his last work. Until Fazzolari began writing again, and released his fiction novel Dogs on Main Street in mid-March. The Blasdell resident, formerly of North Collins, graduated from Gannon University in Erie, Pa. He wrote Oh Brother! The Life & Times of Jeff Fazzolari about his sibling who passed away at a young age. He said that the few nonfiction books in his repertoire were “tough to write.” That, his 10th novel, took him to the New York Book Festival award ceremony in Manhattan, in addition to London, Paris, Hollywood, Los Angeles and New England book fe

Holy Week

My 49-year-old knees ache with the thought of Holy Week. You see, my mind always plays a trick on me during the Holy Week leading up to Easter as I think back to my altar boy days. (Yeah, I was a dedicated altar boy...you didn't think I got this nice without training, did you?) Holy Week is pure torture on a dedicated altar boy. First off, there's church every day! Even though we didn't have to go to school, we had to show up at the front of the church. We also had to do the stand-up, kneel down, with the big cross deal during the stations of the cross. I swear, 40 years later I think about the one day when we were just passing every single station...saying the rosary with the gathering of old ladies who were running their beads through their hands. "How many more we got?" My buddy Al DeCarlo had whispered to me at one point. "A thousand," I whispered back. We both giggled and the priest scowled at us. I think of it all because there

Me Lady

Is anyone following the Oscar Piss-torius trial? You remember him, right? He ran without legs in the Olympics, became a folk hero, grew into a Grade-1 self-entitled a-hole, and then blasted away his beautiful girlfriend as she cowered in the bathroom and he pretended that he was scared of an intruder. Not to mention the fact that his neighbors heard him screaming bloody murder at her in the hours before he "accidentally" shot her. Well, he's putting on a real show now. The trial has muddled along because he has been breaking down in the courtroom every three sentences or so. He's in so much grief over the fact that he made a tragic mistake that he just can't pull himself together. Yet he is also aware that his fate is in the hands of just the judge. (There's no jury system down there). So, he keeps buttering up the judge by calling her "Me Lady" as he concludes each fabricated sentence. And I'm not in the courtroom and I certain

S(c)am Artist

Image
So on Thursday evening Sam and I were seated beside one another going over the baseball scores as they came in. We are in the same baseball fantasy league and believe me, every time on of his guys does something I hear it. "Longoria just doubled," he said. "He's on my team, in case you didn't know." And of course, I only have myself to blame. He doesn't let a chance at a dig go by. He will debate you on each and every topic under the sun. He doesn't even care if he's right. He'll battle you. Just like the old man. "Say, Aunt Corinne was honored for her breast cancer work," he said. "Did you congratulate her?" I asked. "I'm doing better than that," he answered. "I'm going to lunch with her tomorrow." "Are you buying?" I asked. "Don't be silly," he said. And the above photo is a shot of Sam trying a stuffed clam. I can tell him a certain food is good and

Working On Being A Memory

The professional golfer, John Daley is an interesting guy. You know him. He's the big hitter. He was the big eater, the big gambler, the big drinker, the guy who couldn't stay out of his own way. Daley is also a great golfer and there's some question on whether or not he wasted some of that talent. In any regard, he's always interesting to all of us who like to hit a golf ball on the weekends. We root for him because he can take a ten on a hole and just shrug it off. 'He's like us,' we think, but he's really not. He's a talented golfer, but he sort of looks like us. And he doesn't always do it the politically correct way. I remember an interview he did a while back when he won a golf tournament, got the million dollar payoff, went to Vegas, and lost most of it while playing slots. He was betting $500 a pull. Whoever was interviewing him was beside himself. "Were you nervous betting that much money? "No, but I got real

Barney Rubble: What An Actor

There was a time in my life when I lived about 5 minutes from where I worked. For those of you reading Dogs On Main Street it was in my luxury rats-nest apartment that was 27 steps away from the gas station-convenience store. Living so close to where I worked was important because if I timed it right I could be at my kitchen table eating a few salami sandwiches as The Flintstones theme music started. Yep...as a 25-year-old man my number one quest was to catch the Stones on a daily basis. I'd like to say it also saved me time as I could clean the place up on my lunch break, but I didn't clean a whole helluva' lot...until I became a husband. Anywhoha... My favorite episode of The Flintstones was the one where Barney made counterfeit money in his basement and Fred did everything he could to try and keep his bosom buddy from passing the fake bills. Why don't they put that show on Net Flix? I thought of all this when I read the story about a woman here in Buf

It's Not the Same

It's really hard for me to imagine the kind of violence that went on at the school near Pittsburgh this past week. It speaks to the changing times for sure. I don't want to sound too old, but back in my day... ...there was a fight every once in awhile across the street from the school. Kids would gather and watch the flying fists and if a teacher heard about it first, the fight wouldn't even get started. I never fought anyone. Not that there weren't people out there who wouldn't have minded taking a poke at me, but I had a tough older brother and my best buddy was man-size at the age of 13. In fact, the only violence I ever really witnessed was administered by the teachers. I was seated right in front of a kid who mouthed off to an angry old guy who liked to hand out some brutal discipline. I didn't dare turn around as the wise-guy got pummeled in his seat. It was scary, to be sure, but I was never attacked by a teacher either. (Other than the nuns w

A Story About Smiles

There are way too many sports stories that are filled with liars, cheaters, criminals and thugs. The Bills recently signed a guy who's been in trouble with the law on a regular basis for a lot of years. Most of the comments that came along with the signing were: "Who cares, as long as he can play?" Yet character is a real important factor when evaluating these guys...at least for me... And finally! A heartwarming, but sad story. Adreian Payne is a 7' basketball player. He just finished up his season and career at Michigan State. I got to know him because he was pissing us off! He kept drilling long shots and neither Sam nor I had picked Michigan State to advance. "He's a good player," I said to Sam. "I wish someone would guard him! He's Cliff-ing shots from everywhere!" And then Sam told me the story. You see, Payne had befriended a young girl who was suffering from cancer. Lacey Holsworth took a shine to the player and vi

Plugging Along

Image
When I saw this photo I instantly thought of another Yankee great, Billy Martin, in the middle of a fight with another Yankee great, Reggie Jackson in the 1977 season. (There are a lot of Yankee greats). You see, the two men hated one another and after Billy thought Reggie was dogging it on a fly ball he yanked Reginald from the game, in the middle of the inning, by sending Paul Blair out there to replace him. "Don't be mad at me, Reggie," Blair supposedly said, "Billy sent me." Well, Billy was plenty mad and by the time Reggie got to the dugout Billy was frothing at the mouth and wanted to fight Reggie. "Are you crazy?" Reggie supposedly asked, "Look at the size of me, I'll kill you if we fight!" "You're gonna' have to kill me to win the fight," Billy allegedly responded. And there's little in Billy's background to doubt that was true. I know some people like that. Just determined people who are

Bitter Fruit

Man, some people are just bitter and mean on social media. It's scary, actually. And I suppose that people can just go on there and troll news stories and just jump all over other people without fear of being called on it. I'm not talking the hit and run and joking around stuff that my friends and I are famous for. I'm talking the real mean crap. Here in Buffalo Jim Kelly is fighting cancer. His family has decided to take that fight and make it public, and while some may wonder about the motives of why they'd wage their battle in such a public forum, I sort of take it at face value. They are looking for prayer. They also know that Jim is a public figure and rather than let his condition be reported by others, they have taken the lead, and I also believe that they are illuminating the cancer story for all those other people who suffer. I truly believe that those are their motives. Their love is front and center and they are letting others know that they wil

What People Do

Image
It's amazing what people do to amuse themselves. I always laugh at the Comic book loving people who do all sorts of maddening things to chase their hobby. Ah, well, some people think my attending Springsteen shows is weird, so to each his own, right? But explain this: It's funny, to be sure, but the entire family in such a ritual? And look at Mom's costume...really? What are those kids gonna' think about ten years from now? Yet they're in a lot better shape than the kids in this family... ...I apologize in advance... This is crazy and disturbing... Yeah.... ...that's a family celebrating a new member. They're sitting in the birthing pool. It takes all kinds, people. Suddenly Captain America looks like a genius.

Steal A Lot If You're Gonna' Do It

Image
Nothing like good old Bob Dylan singing a line. I remember when I first heard him sing this back in about 1980. I thought it was perfect. And it's weird, you know? Kathy bought me the book The Wolf of Wall Street for Christmas and instructed me to read it quickly because she wanted to see the movie. I read most books quickly, but I got about fifty pages into that one and grew weary of the narrator telling me stories of basically stealing and living like a frat boy. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be cute to me, but there was a real 'look at the funny thing I did' feel to it. I set the book aside. Then I read a NY Post article written by the wife of one of these Wall Street rip-off artists...the same wife of the guy who wrote the book...and it straight up pissed me off. Those guys who stole all that money received slap on the wrist penalties and are living off some of the stolen money in mansions. They are running brand new scams on people. Living like

Frank the Tank

Back when we were in the 7th grade the chant that was all the rage in our circle of friends was: Frank the Tank, President of the Chub Club. It was for our close buddy, Frank, and while he wasn't thrilled with it, he laughed along and tried to come up with something brilliant to bust our chops about. Well Frank turned 50 this past week and on Saturday we all gathered to surprise him. He wasn't surprised at all. Yet at least some of the guys who were there back in the 7th grade made it to the party. We had all shared so much through the years. Beer. Softball. Camping out. Fights over girls. Learning to drive. Birthdays when we were first allowed to drink legally. And the funny thing about seeing long-time friends (I won't say old), is that the conversation from back then still seems to be running at the same pace. There's no hiding crap from guys that know you that well. You can't pretend. They call you on the bullshit. And that's a real comfortab

Just Have a C-Section

From the absolutely ridiculous column: Daniel Murphy is the starting second basemen for the Hapless, Hopeless, New York Mets. He's also a brand new daddy, but those things mixed last week as Murphy's wife went into labor to have the child on Opening Day of the 2014 season. That heartless bitch! Well, to hear some people talk about her, that's the general feeling. Murphy skipped the opening day ceremony and the team's game the next night so that he could watch his first child take its first breath of air and so he could help his wife through the procedure. As you know, men are an integral part of the birthing process. If I hadn't been there for Kathy during the birth of our children she would certainly not have produced such wonderful off-spring. I had to be there! Yet, ridiculously, there has been a great debate. Some of the sports talking heads have said that perhaps he could have missed one game...one day was enough...he had a responsibility to the

Fried Baloney and Onions Please

Lunch is no longer an event in my life. I know that I spend a lot of time pretending that I'm a big fat guy, but I'm really not. I'm not that far out of shape. (Shut-up, Pops). I usually eat fairly well each day and as time has passed I've sort of started to...gasp...eat less. I love eating. When the food is good, I'll eat and eat and eat. Growing up, with Mom and Dad cooking, the food was always good. When I have the time to cook right, I can still put some pasta or sausage or pork chops away. But over the past year or so I've stopped eating like there's a gun to my head at lunch. In fact, it's usually just a single sandwich and sometimes I...gasp...try and eat something healthy. But on Thursday at about 11:30 I happened across one of the big lunch wagons that has become all the rage around downtown Buffalo. And I saw the sign. "A pound of fried bologna on a hard roll with fried onions and mustard." My hands were shaking as I

Staying Present

Image
Living in the present is harder to do than you might think. Since I saw this quote posted on Twitter, it's sort of rattled around in my tiny little brain, and you know what? Thinking about it has helped a little bit. First off, I'm not one of those people who say that you should never think about the past. I do think about it a lot. There's some pain involved with remembering people that I miss dearly, but I would never want to stop thinking of them. I never want to forget the past. Yet the things in the rear view mirror are much closer than they appear as well. It's so important not to get bogged down on the poor decisions that you've made in the past. You can't worry about the things you regret doing. We all have certain regrets, but it drives me crazy sometimes when I hear people speak about how their relationship with their parents, or how something that happened to them so long ago, continues to weigh on them now. There was a celebrity on Ho

Rooting for Laundry

Let's review: Ryan Fraud of the Milwaukee Brewers won the MVP of the League in 2012. He signed a $150 million contract. He also tested positive for steroids immediately after the season ended. He fought back. He denied taking anything illegal and said the guy who collected his specimen was the imposter and was out to get him. He got the poor guy fired from his job. People were whispering but Fraud held a press conference and denied that he did anything other than polish his talents. Cut to the middle of 2013. Fraud was caught again. This time he was quiet about the denials. When it was all about to be publicized he got injured. Then he took a 60-game suspension. The fans in Milwaukee felt duped. There were jerseys in the park the rest of the year with the Braun taped over on the back of the jerseys. Fraud was real quiet for a long time. Then he apologized for his 'mistakes'. He supposedly apologized to the test-taker, but the apology was as lame as his d

Information Available

It was funny, but the other night I was watching hoops and I received a message on Facebook. Someone who had read Dogs On Main Street had sent me a message, and while I didn't know the person very well, I enjoyed the message: Hey just wanted to let you know that I loved the book. Great cover. I laughed. I cried. All in the right places, I think! The great cover comments really make me smile, and I was certainly appreciative of the book comments. I wrote back and thanked her and told her it was fun to write fiction again. And the cool part was that she sent a note back asking me a couple of questions. Which set me off. I told her the back story on all the characters and let her know that the gas station robbery was pretty much true. We traded texts back and forth and I kept getting deeper and deeper into why the characters did what they did. After a little while I realized that I was prattling on a little bit. But that's almost as much fun as writing it. There is